Benching Our Best Players

Recovering the Role of Singles in Kingdom Leadership 

Finding Our Way 

I live in Chicago, a place where 2.7 million people share 234 square miles, 4000 miles of public roadway, and a 1900-mile alley system. We have two international airports here: Chicago O’Hare and Chicago Midway. O’Hare is ranked the second busiest airport in the nation and the sixth busiest in the world. And speaking of going places, between its buses and trains, the Chicago Transit Authority provides 1.7 million rides on an average weekday. 

Chicago is a big place with a lot of people and all kinds of ways to get around: car, taxi, ride-share, bus, train, bike (we have over 300 miles of bike lanes, by the way), walking, and even water taxi. 

I’ll just come right out and say it: I love my city.

But even after spending most of my life in Chicagoland (as we like to call it), I still need directions when I’m in an unfamiliar part of the city. I often rely on GPS to tell me the best route to take and what the public transportation options are. Because as much as I love Chicago, I hate not knowing where I am even more.

I was thinking about my dependence on GPS, and always wanting to know where I am, when I was in Calgary, Alberta, a few years ago. I was there speaking at a conference about singles and their role in building God’s kingdom. As I began to speak, it occurred to me that there was a connection between my unfamiliarity with Calgary and the disorientation of singles in the church: we’re in bad need of direction. I could no more navigate my way around an unfamiliar city to me, without GPS or a guide than the average Christian single can find his or her place in the church—or the average church can figure out the best way to effectively deploy singles into ministry.

When it comes to singles in kingdom work, we’re all a little disoriented.

Many single Christians have been using the wrong coordinates. Their map tells them that being unmarried amounts to being uncredentialed. They’ll forever be under-qualified for essential kingdom work because they have no spouse. 

Likewise, many churches and Christian organizations have also been relying on faulty coordinates. Their maps tell them that being married is essential to ministry and leadership. Therefore, singles, regardless of their maturity or dedication, belong here but not there. There are limits to where they can serve and what they can do.

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Hi. I’m Lewie and I’m single. I’ve never been married. I’m passionate about disciple-making, and because the church needs every disciple to be a disciple-maker, I’m determined to see that singles are equipped and included in the mission of the kingdom. 

Now before we go any further, I want to assure you that this issue is a burden on my heart, not a chip on my shoulder. For the most part, my personal experience as a single in ministry has been quite positive. I’ve felt wanted, heard, and valued in every ministry role I’ve occupied. But sadly, I’ve learned that this is an exception.

Until a few years ago, writing on this subject was not on my list of things I felt I needed to do. However, the more I interacted with other singles in seminaries, churches, and missions, the more discouragement I encountered among them. This book is my attempt to take an honest and biblical look at the situation and hopefully provoke a conversation that will move us toward healing and recalibration. 

When the Church Was Young

Singles had significant roles in the early church, which means that when we take on this subject, we’re not looking for something new. Actually, we’re celebrating what God has done through the lives of tens of thousands of His servants—both married and single—to take the gospel to the ends of the earth. 

In the first century, singles not only led the expansion of the good news of the kingdom of God but they also served as role models for new followers of Jesus. As many singles were part of laying the foundation for the spreading of the gospel for centuries to come, so my prayer is that the empowerment of singles will revitalize the expansion of the kingdom of God for future generations—until the return of our Lord.

To begin, let’s consider the role of one man who was instrumental in the life of the young church—a man who is a timeless example of courage and humility: Barnabas.

Barnabas was a leader in the (then) new movement we call Christianity. He was also aware of emerging leaders at times when his ministry colleagues apparently were not. 

Barnabas was also single.

Saul was a single who had come to believe in Jesus as Messiah while walking on the road to Damascus. Later, he went to Jerusalem but could not establish a relational connection with the fellow believers in the city, nor could he gain a toehold in ministry. The disciples in Jerusalem could not bring themselves to believe that Saul could possibly have become a follower of Jesus. His reputation as a deadly persecutor raised the question whether this gospel could change the heart of someone so notoriously menacing.

When [Saul] came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles . . . So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. (Acts 9:26–28)

Barnabas intervened on Saul’s behalf, convincing the apostles that Saul had indeed become a passionate follower of Jesus. Barnabas was so persuasive that in addition to accepting Saul as a brother, the apostles welcomed him into their ministry circle. He now had a place at their table.

While still in Jerusalem, Saul boldly proclaimed that Jesus was the Messiah which resulted in threats to his life. The persecutor became the persecuted. The apostles then helped him escape the imminent danger and flee to his hometown of Tarsus—over 350 miles to the north.

Five years passed but Barnabas did not forget Saul. When news came of the gospel’s spread into new territories, including the city of Antioch, the church in Jerusalem dispatched Barnabas to help the new believers there. He soon realized that Saul could be a key man in the work, and then made the arduous journey to Tarsus to find Saul and bring him into the ministry that was occurring in Antioch.

Then Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Saul, and when he found him, he brought him to Antioch. So for a whole year Barnabas and Saul met with the church and taught great numbers of people. The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch. (Acts 11:25–26)

Although Saul had been set apart by God for ministry (Acts 9:15-16) and had been divinely gifted for the work, God needed a willing person, a human agent who was ready to engage in a holy assignment, to intervene on Saul’s behalf. This was the second time God called upon Barnabas to get the job done. The first time, God needed to get Saul connected to the apostles in Jerusalem. Now, He needed to relocate Saul from Tarsus to Antioch. And because God had given him the ability to recognize Saul’s emergence as a kingdom builder, Barnabas once again encouraged his friend and brother to join the work.

For the next year Barnabas and Saul, again, both single men, taught and impacted many people in Antioch. It was at this juncture that the Holy Spirit sent them on their first mission journey. And the rest is history. Notable history.

Let’s pause here to ask a few what-if questions—

What if Barnabas had not intervened for Saul in Jerusalem? What if Barnabas had been unwilling to make the difficult journey to Tarsus to look for Saul and to recruit him to the Antioch ministry? What if Barnabas ignored the Holy Spirit and never engaged with Saul at all? And what if Saul had said no?

What if the apostles had made marriage a requirement for leadership?

We could also add Timothy and Titus to the unmarried leaders of the young church. In fact, much of the activity recorded in the New Testament involved singles. If we continue to track the ministry of Paul and his team over a twenty-year period, as recorded in the book of Acts, we’d surely see that there were other singles who joined in this kingdom movement.  

The role of singles in the growth of the church cannot be overstated, but it is often overlooked.

Which makes me wonder how many key team members we are failing to recruit, train, and send today. 

Are there others?

Beyond the biblical record, history is well populated with singles who answered God’s call and served the kingdom. Many of these have been crucial to the expanse of the gospel and to the growth of the church, including:

• John Stott — (1921-2011); Rector of All Souls Church in London; theologian and prolific author; in 2005, Timemagazine listed him in their “100 Most Influential People in the World”

• Richard Charles (Dick) Lucas — Rector of St. Helen’s Bishopsgate (1961-1998); founder of Proclamation Trust

• Amy Carmichael — (1867-1951); served as a missionary to India for 55 years, without taking a furlough; founder of Dohnavur Fellowship, a home for rescued children

• Vaughan Roberts — Rector of St. Ebbe’s in Oxford; Director of Proclamation Trust

• Charlotte Digges “Lottie” Moon — (1840-1912); one of the first unmarried women sent by the Foreign Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention, she served in China for 39 years 

• Ed Shaw — Pastor of Emmanuel City Centre in Bristol, England; author of Same-Sex Attraction and the Church: The Surprising Plausibility of the Celibate Life, and member of the editorial team at Living Out

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So, there I stood in front of a couple hundred adult singles in an auditorium in Calgary, Alberta. They had come to be encouraged and to discover together how they might follow through on their commitment to serve in the kingdom—and yes even to lead. They were not there to find a spouse or to bemoan their singleness. They were not there to be coaxed into accepting their lot as less-thans in kingdom work. They were not there to gripe.

They were there because they dared to hope that the churches, seminaries, mission agencies, and other gospel-centric organizations would soon be ready to welcome them into their ranks.

I’m pretty sure there was a Barnabas or two in the room.