The “Rhythms” of Christmas: A Family Perspective
As this 2020 Christmas season approaches, it hits me that Don and I have been parents now for over 17 years. In many ways, I still feel like I’m trying to figure out how to do this parenting thing well in a world that is constantly throwing new challenges at our children. We are now in the throws of journeying through the teen years with our 4 daughters & 1 son ages 17, 15, 15, 12, & 12 (yes, we have 2 sets of twins!) and we recently stepped back into the baby years with our 9 month old foster son.
As we reflect back on our parenting years, one of the things I’ve been most thankful for are the traditions or “rhythms” we’ve been able to establish with our children on a regular basis that have provided a cadence of intentionality to the busyness of our lives. Some examples of this are weekly pizza and movie nights, regular 1-1 kid “dates", Taco Tuesday game nights, and annual 1-1 overnight kid trips. We have found that the regular “rhythms” intentionally built into our schedule have also provided the best opportunities for discipleship and connection and are ones our children anticipate and look forward to. Christmas provides a season for some special rhythms all its own. Here are a few ways we’ve connected as a family each year...
Advent
Neither Don or I grew up in a church tradition of observing the Advent season but this is a rhythm that our family has grown to cherish. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we gather most evenings to talk about the many ways in the Old Testament that God used stories and symbolism to build anticipation in His people for the coming Messiah, His Son Jesus, the Savior of the World. We talk about our own anticipation as we look forward to His return again and the ways our family can be witnesses of His healing power and redemption. We often have special surprise advent “treats” to share during this time. This helps build the anticipation each evening for our advent time together. Below are some of our other favorite resources for the Advent season:
The Cradle to the Cross Advent Wreath - by the Keeping Company
The Storybooks for Advent (Jotham’s Journey, Bartholomew’s Passage, etc) - by Arnold Ytreeide
A Personal Christmas
Very early in our marriage, we realized that as much as we value the holidays with our extended families, it was also important to establish our own Christmas Day rhythms. For this reason, we set aside a full day the weekend before Christmas to celebrate as just our immediate family. This allows us to maintain our own traditions and gives us the freedom to be flexible on Christmas Day to love and serve our extended family in whatever the day brings. Our day together usually consists of opening stockings, a birthday breakfast for Jesus in the morning (candles on Monkey Bread), taking our time opening gifts, spending the day playing together and ending with watching the movie The Nativity Story.
A Tree of Testimonies
Another Christmas rhythm we have as a family is our Christmas Tree. Early in marriage, Don and I decided that we wanted our tree to be covered in memories. Each year, we choose ornaments to add that represent big milestones, special events, or interests that the kids had that year. Some of them are funny (like the “half of a cow” ornament), some of them are sentimental (like the gourd from our 20th anniversary trip), but all of them have memories attached. But what started as a tree of memories has become a tree of testimonies over the years. Over and over in the Old Testament, God asks his people to build “altars” of remembrance - physical reminders of what He has done in their lives and opportunities for His people to share with their children. Setting up our Christmas tree has become our own time of remembrance. As we unwrap each ornament, we share stories; we laugh; we remember all that God has done. Some ornaments represent seasons of joy and some represent seasons of pain and growth. This year we’ll be adding ornaments representing our oldest’s first job and the beginning of our foster parenting journey but we’ll also be adding ornaments that represent the struggle of a year with a pandemic and a season of intense grief for our oldest 3 daughters after losing a close friend. In years to come, we will remember His goodness in this season.
The year 2020 has been a difficult year for many of us. As we approach the Christmas season, I am reminded more than ever of the importance of these established family rhythms that provide the meaningful moments of connecting as a family and reminding each other of God’s goodness to us.
May this season be a sweet time of remembering and connection through your own family’s rhythms and even a time to establish some new ones.
